For years, I wore a fake smile. It was my defense against a cruel world. For a few years, I was not very stable and my neurologist was trying to find a new medicine combination that would work. During that time, I didn’t have a stable income. All of this created a strain on my marriage, and eventually we got divorced. During that whole time, if anyone asked me how I was doing, I would say “fine” and use my fake smile. However, I was definitely not fine.
At some point, I started seeing a therapist. She helped me deal with all the emotions, and explained that attempting to put a wall up to block my emotions was not helping. Now I try not to use my fake smile anymore.