My Crushed American Dream

As Valentine’s Day approaches…

As Valentine’s Day approaches, the holiday only reminds me of my crushed American dream.  When I was younger, I had the dream that I would grow up and have a home of my own along with a husband,  children, and pet.  Epilepsy had no part in this dream.  Valentine’s Day is the holiday that reminds me that I am now single and no closer to attaining these goals then when I was 16.

For the moment, I have scaled my American dream down a bit.

  1. home of my own – I have done some extensive research into home ownership by observing others, and it is not always the joyful experience people want you to believe.  Since I am terrible at fixing things, I think that I dodged a bullet here.  I prefer calling the maintenance guy and asking them to come fix the problem.
  2. pet – This is just a matter of finding a pet friendly place and getting a cat.
  3.  financial stability – Although not specifically stated, I thought I would have a job that I loved and would not have to worry about financial problems.  Although I like helping students with their issues in math, my job comes with no health benefits.  At the moment, it is extremely difficult getting a full-time professor position without a PhD (at least in physics & mathematics), so I have worked as an adjunct for many years.  I am trying to break out of this trend and get a full-time job in higher education, which should resolve my financial stability problems.

Is there a Positive Side?

Due to Valentine’s Day, I now have a good excuse for buying large quantities of chocolate without any judgmental reactions from supermarket employees.  Every now and then my mood is a little negative, but I already have a strategy to help me with my ‘financial stability’ goal.  I have even met someone who got a full-time job, and their boss was completely comfortable with the fact that they had epilepsy.



7 thoughts on “My Crushed American Dream

  1. I have my own place, stability and am looking for a pet. Just need the wife kids and then I have the English dream. It doesn’t matter how many seizures I have, what life throws at me, I will have my dreams. I will just work harder to achieve them.


  2. I do hope all of your dreams come true.

    You are completely right about the home ownership. There’s been more than one occasion where I wished I could pick up the phone and have maintenance answer my call rather than fearing some shady repair company would answer charging me an arm and a leg for what turns out to be a simple fix!


  3. The American dream isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be. Financial stability is a wonderful thing and you never know when love will come. I don’t know how old you are but I didn’t get married til my mid 30’s and had some advanced maternal age children. And you’re right about owning a house, it does come with fixing up. Anyway, you sound like you have a plan and I like to hear how you’re doing. Epilepsy isn’t easy but you seem to deal with it with a lot of power and grace.


  4. Dear dragonandrose, I hear you, you are not the only one. I know what it can be like and understand, I really do. Don’t give up, it can still happen, you can still dream, we all do. Martin Luther king did, my nice and nephew do, she wants to be a fairy princess, he wants to ride fast cars and Martin Luther well his dream is history! Keep dreaming, make your dreams bright and bold and big! Dreams come true, even if they feel like they are over the rainbow. Always dream especially when you are feeling crushed, and remember no-one dreams the same dream, not even in America.


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