Day 5 Chronic Illness Challenge

I had to do some soul searching to answer this question.  I was surprised to find more than a few negative emotions under the surface than I thought.

Day 5: How does being chronically ill make you feel?

Frustration

Frustrated man at a deskI am frustrated while navigating the complexities of the health insurance industry.  I feel frustrated when I listen to the news about the republican’s new plan for health insurance.  Will it cover pre-existing conditions?  Because my medicine makes me tired and I have to monitor my stress levels, I can’t teach the same number of jobs other professors can.  I am also not always offered many courses.   The instability in my income is another source of frustration.   Having a breakout seizure when you think everything is going well is another source of frustration.

Lonely

Loneliness

While I am usually surrounded by a lot of people since I live in a densely populated city, I still feel lonely.  My family all live several states away and calling them on the phone is just not the same.  I have been feeling this way since my divorce.  However, I have been trying to be more financially stable first.  For the moment, the only strategy I have for coping with loneliness is to go out in the evenings and meet with my science fiction and astronomy groups.

Sadness

Sadness

I can’t help but feel that no matter how hard I try I can’t get ahead.  I am steadily trying to save some money just in case of a medical or some other emergency.  Right now, retirement just isn’t in my future.  I know I am not the only person in this position and it angers me that so many people choose to turn a blind eye.  When I was 16, I had plans for my future, but none of them turned out the way I wanted.

Hopeful

Hope

This is the best picture that I could find that represented hope.  Despite the negative emotions that I feel, I remain hopeful about the future.  There are a number of devices being developed to help detect seizures and warn caregivers.  This could help some persons with epilepsy live a more normal life.  Some institutions were also finding out more about epilepsy.  This information could lead to a cure.

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