I had to do some soul searching to answer this question. I was surprised to find more than a few negative emotions under the surface than I thought.
Day 5: How does being chronically ill make you feel?
I am frustrated while navigating the complexities of the health insurance industry. I feel frustrated when I listen to the news about the republican’s new plan for health insurance. Will it cover pre-existing conditions? Because my medicine makes me tired and I have to monitor my stress levels, I can’t teach the same number of jobs other professors can. I am also not always offered many courses. The instability in my income is another source of frustration. Having a breakout seizure when you think everything is going well is another source of frustration.
While I am usually surrounded by a lot of people since I live in a densely populated city, I still feel lonely. My family all live several states away and calling them on the phone is just not the same. I have been feeling this way since my divorce. However, I have been trying to be more financially stable first. For the moment, the only strategy I have for coping with loneliness is to go out in the evenings and meet with my science fiction and astronomy groups.
I can’t help but feel that no matter how hard I try I can’t get ahead. I am steadily trying to save some money just in case of a medical or some other emergency. Right now, retirement just isn’t in my future. I know I am not the only person in this position and it angers me that so many people choose to turn a blind eye. When I was 16, I had plans for my future, but none of them turned out the way I wanted.
This is the best picture that I could find that represented hope. Despite the negative emotions that I feel, I remain hopeful about the future. There are a number of devices being developed to help detect seizures and warn caregivers. This could help some persons with epilepsy live a more normal life. Some institutions were also finding out more about epilepsy. This information could lead to a cure.